The Thought That Haunts

The second day we were here we went to the public hospital to visit people there. If you saw the movie the Last King of Scotland you will recognize the place, it was shot there.

The place resembles what you would think a hospital looked like at the turn of the century. Large wards with thirty to forty people in each laying in old metal hospital beds. This hospital is for the poorest of the poor. Families sleep on straw mats next to the beds. If you don't have a family, you will die for no one takes care of the patients here except for the families. They feed them and wash them.

Initially patients are admitted and stabilized, perhaps diagnosed and if the family has money, then the person is treated. If not, they lay there until they get better or die. It's a cold hard place.

The very first patient I met was a young boy around twelve. He had been there about a week. He had been working cutting firewood with his family. As this boy was standing beneath a tree, he was struck by a very large branch that had been cut from above. The boy was pinned underneath the branch until enough people could lift it off his back. He was then loaded up and taken to the hospital. That was the last time he felt anything below his waist or could move his legs.

As we stood there listening to our Ugandan friend translate this boys story, I could only be grateful that my son is healthy and doesn't have to help me feed my family by being a lumberjack. My other thought was that this kids prognoses didn't sound good.

The family said the doctors did all they could do and unless the family had money, no specialist was going to come in. So he lay there. His mama was crying. His sister was asleep on the concrete floor. At the boys head were his X-rays.

"John you have medical training, could you please look at them. The family doesn't understand what is happening. The doctors haven't explained it very well. Please look at the pictures."

I said no.

I didn't want to give the false impression that I could help. I didn't want to give that mama any false hope. No, no, no...

The very first X-ray I looked at shattered any hope I had for the situation. The lower vertebra of the spine were at right angles to each other. With my most basic understanding of anatomy I know the spine should be stacked like blocks, not twisted and bent. I could only imagine how painful this kids life was this moment. I wondered to myself just how long this boy would have to suffer.

What do you say at a moment like this?

"This is bad." The biggest understatement of my life.

I talked about the little I knew about spinal injuries. I made a few suggestions. I prayed with the family. I watched as my daughter and the other girls struggled to hold back the flood of tears. I felt useless and stupid. The reality of the situation jumped up and slapped any altruistic thoughts out of my American "do-gooder" head.

I am such a shit.

I have never been back to the hospital.

peace,

john